farters have to be the big spoon...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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