The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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