I didn't shave. On purpose
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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