i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
