i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
