i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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