Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
