so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
