That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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