There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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