When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
