at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
