Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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