I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think people are normalizing furries
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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