I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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