oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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