can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
