Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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