Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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