I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
