I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
