I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
