Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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