Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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