drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
