Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
