I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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