Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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