So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
