I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was CRYING into my vagina
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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