and you said cock pushups were impossible
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
