I am puke
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
