who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
