I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
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I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
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This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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