I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize