it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
