The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
