whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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