don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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