Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
