you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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