It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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