I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
