don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
