i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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