Me. At least after what I've been through.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
