I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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