He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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