she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
