Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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