bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
