So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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