Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
