Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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