Do vagina's smell?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
