Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if you like me you must not know who I am
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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