I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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