He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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