you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
