Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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